The Gym

The Gym

I have a membership at a gym. People say, “New Year, New You!” as motivation to go to the gym. I went to the gym, and I was not given a new me. I was given the old me, which is a bit worn out and fraying. So be advised that the “New Year, New You!” thing is a fabrication.

They have lots of equipment at the gym, including an assortment of balls, kettle bells, and rope. This equipment can be misleading. For example, the BIG balls are very light and some of the little balls are stupidly heavy. The stupidly heavy ones are called “medicine balls” but they do not come with Tylenol or Advil. Also, the kettle bells are not bells at all and they do not ring.

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People goof around with the rope with grimaces on their faces. Is the workout playing with the rope or the facial grimaces? I cannot be sure.

Sometimes people sit on the weight machines to check their social media accounts. They do a set about every 8 minutes or so to justify keeping their butts on the machines. I do not like these people.

Overall, I give the gym a 7/10. I like the toys like the wobble boards and noodles (although I think the “noodles” are actually called “foam rollers”, which are used to “roll out” muscles. But they are just thick noodles.). I like the TVs, free water, and hand sanitizer. However, I must deduct some points for the stupidly heavy balls, the decidedly un-musical kettle “bells”, and the people who grimace with the ropes (and the social media weight machine hogs).

And remember, you do NOT get a “new” you. What a scam.

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